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Wednesday 4 April 2012

THE BUTTOCKS AND THE DRUM...

Hi everyone,

It is such a beautiful evening. I love when the weather is so somnolent. It gives me an opportunity to daydream...there is no power supply, and for the first time in forever, I actually don't mind. This weather calms me, I almost feel like I can fly! *laughs*

I got the inspiration to write this poem three hours ago! I immediately started tying furiously on my phone. I am sure some of us who write understand the rush you get when a new idea pops in your head...it can be likened to the feelings you experience when you fall in love for the first time...I guess...

Anyway, I hope you get the same feeling as you read this!!!

Enjoy!

THE BUTTOCKS AND THE DRUM

What is it?
I ask you
Why do they love to follow a load of fat around?
I heard the iya ilu drum sound so furiously
At the tick tack movement of her buttocks
She swayed
He beat faster
She shook
He died slowly
She didn't need to dance
All she did was roll
She rolled
He beat faster
She rolled faster
He beat his hardest
She didn't dance
No, all she did was move the enticing fat
The behind she knew they would follow...

The drum refused to stop...
She kept shaking
At a point, it looked like convulsion of the buttocks...
She shook as if a demon was in her
The dundun drum spoke love words to her sumptuous buttocks
It said what the drummer lacked courage to say...
The drum professed love to her buttocks
Her buttocks coyishly replied..

All of a sudden
She stopped
I heard the drum grumble...
As if her buttocks heard..
It began to move again
The drum came alive
This time with a different beat
The buttocks replied with a slower roll

All the while...I wondered why?
Why does a 'pair' of buttocks have the power to render a man and his drum senseless...

Mylipsrsealed...

P.S. To the African men who love 'the buttocks'...

Sunday 1 April 2012

GIFTS TO THE EXS...stories my girlfriends told me!!!

Evening all,

I am moving to the second part of the gifts to my EXS. I am done being a regretful person so you don't have to worry about me writing to any more ex...no more hate PMs on blackberry...it is their loss anyway, I am now telling the stories my girlfriends told me about their relationships- past, and present. You will be amazed at how much you can learn at a saloon when you and your friends are making your hair.

Now, I don't really believe in female friends because...let's face it...we girls love drama. I have enough drama in me...I don't need extra...believe me!!! However, female friends are really blessings in disguise. When you think you have seen it all, heard it all...just ask your girlfriend about her man, and you will know you haven't seen nothing.

Two months ago, when I started the blook on my exs, a few of my friends decided to share their stories with me...I am definitely not sharing with you guys BUT I will be sending gifts to all the guys they dated.

I know I should mind my business but I am just an amebo!!!

So...enjoy the second part of the letters to the EXS...stories my girlfriends told me...

Now, this ex dated my friend, and he managed to make her drop out of school, have an abortion, and smoke igbo...Amazing right? Or should I say...I don't even know what word to use.

I am going to tell this ex a few things my friend forgot to say to him...thankfully he doesn't know me so...I am safe (I think)

By the way, if you are reading this, it means you are also an amebo like me..thumbs up

Enjoy...


TO THE NFA (NO FUTURE AMBITION)


I know your story
You have none
You love, hurt, then aim to kill
Almost as if you are a devil child
She slumped for you
She worshipped you
Then you revealed yourself.

I don't know what she saw in you
You are not even good as a handbag
The first rule is
He must look good as a handbag
Second is
He must have a plan
Me I know say you no get any of these.

Nowadays everybody wants smoke igbo
Like Fela child of Kuti
I wonder if they know Fela had a plan
He smoked igbo but he had a plan
He was plain but he looked good as a handbag
Why do you think so many women carried him around?
Silly boys of now
Smoking igbo without a plan

I asked her about your smile
She said it was 'just there'
I asked her about your swag
She said you had none
I asked her why she stayed
She gave me a blank stare
Mumu like her!!!

I am asking you
What do you gain?
Loving them and leaving them?
What is the point of breaking them?
Are you on some contract with the devil?
Tell me...I can keep a secret!

Look at her now
She doesn't even look like my friend
She looks like a familiar stranger
Thanks to you
We all have to start giving her a personality
Since you managed to kill the one she had...


Well, at least she is back
I don't mind what state she is in
She will get better!
She will be stronger
And you will see it...I promise you!


Mylipsrsealed...


P.S. To the ones who have no ambition yet they manage to get girls!!!

*Me I know say you no get any of these*- I know you don't have any of these
*Amebo*- meddler
*Mumu like her*- naivete
*igbo*- marijuana