Another letter?....Dear NLC versus FG

Dear NLC versus FG,

Can I start by stating the obvious...which is...I know none of you care about me or other Nigerians...it is just that NlC knows how to pretend, FG on the other hand...you need to take a few acting tips from NLC...

Now, back to my letter...

Ehmm, I should have written this letter last week but I couldn't charge my phone...why? Because FG is playing deaf and NLC is playing dumb...its like a game my friend and I play called the 'oh..ha' game...so PHCN, that doesn't function normally on a good day, now has a good excuse to not function at all...great!!!

Ok now my letter,

NLC please don't get me wrong...I know you are fighting for me...at least that is what it looks like..I also know that you have created a lot of opportunities for me and some other Nigerians to groove...(Ojota concert/carnival)....its just that...I am not entirely excited sitting at home...hungry...cranky...edgy...(I have run out of rhymes)...but you get my point right NLC???

Seriously.. back to the letter,

FG, do you know that some Nigerians are literally occupying the streets?...putting their beds outside..isn't that funny?...ha ha ha...*serious face* ok, I know it is not fuuny to you because I hear you lost about a trillion naira while Nigerians were busy occupying?...sorry sha...I know Jonathan wanted to use that money to buy lunch for his family...

FG, can I offer you some advice? I'll tell you anyway... maybe..if you listen to NLC, we will return to our different occupations and lifestyles. I am pretty sure, you miss all the small commissions you get every now and then cheating me and other Nigerians.
Although, now that I think of it...I am almost certain WE people are not likely to stop our demands at 65 naira alone...now that we know how much we are exploited daily...we are not so happy with you FG...as a matter of fact...WE ARE VERY PISSED at you.

'Oyinbo' people always accuse we 'Omo dudus' that we are not informed, and that is killing us...well we are very informed now o...So Jonathan and FG...please..the war has just started...I have gone to the market, and I am ready like other NIgerians for another week...(When my money finishes, I am moving in with Wole Soyinka or Don Jazzy...#occupysomewhere)

Anyway NLC dearie, I heard your meeting with FG didn't end well again...it is alright...don't cry o...we are ready for another week of doing absolutely nothing...yes we are ready to occupy Nigeria..Nothing...our streets...anything...

We Nigerians are ready to walk together..no matter how far or how sunny the weather is... Okay?...#occupyNigeria

I am tired of writing this letter that I know you won't read so I am off to bed...Goodnight NLC versus FG...I pray the bedbugs bite you FG...very very hard...so you can DIE or Somethjng...I am joking o..please don't send aunty Ngozi to come and beat me or remove subsidy from my sleep ( I no wan die abeg)

P.S. Fellow Nigerians *in my Abacha voice*... Please if you are bringing out your house furniture again this week...remember to bring an extra bed...I am hoping to pay you a visit...#occupysomething

Mylipsrsealed...xoxo