THE RELUCTANTS...

Hi all,

I am so grateful to all of you that find time to read my blog.

Whew...what I am wearing is still on, my gift to the exs is yet to be finished, and I have other projects that are begging to be executed...I am in my house, and I can't work because I don't know where to start from.
How did I get so choked up with work? I wonder!

The weather is determined to darken every part of me, NEPA is not kind enough to supply electricity...top of that my modem refuses to do the work I paid it do...as if that isn't enough...I keep feeling hungry!!! How am I supposed to work under such gruesome conditions? I am telling you...hard work doesn't thrive in Nigeria...there are too many factors that are against it...

The best solution is to sit back and let God do all the work, once He is done...just take the icing and put it on the cake...and then sell it. Do not forget to give accolades to God though...since He did the work. That's what I do.

On a different note... Do you guys remember Ngozi Iweala?..the woman who backed Jonah during fuel subsidy? You remember her? She is a minister for something...she is supposedly very intelligent? You still don't remember? Ok, maybe this will help. She is the first woman to push a man to become the most cursed president on the internet...now you remember. Well she is contesting for world bank presidency seat! Imagine...she wants to leave Uncle Jonah after pushing him in hot water...I just pity Jonah..if she leaves..he is going to be made into asun (local suya)...*evil laughter*

Anyway, I am not interested in their palaver right now...I just want to tell you a story.

Story...story...story

The title of my story is THE RELUCTANTS...

Enjoy...


THE RELUCTANTS.

These three people wanted to be great...they each had their dreams...they all wanted to be tailors. They went after their dreams and they promised themselves to meet up after three years to measure their achievements

So they embarked on their journeys...

After three years..they got together and only one had become a tailor...why?

I will let each one tell you his/her story.

RELUCTANT No.1

Hello jare everyone,

I am a tailor no matter what anyone says. I can't sow, and I don't know how to cut but I can use my imagination to dress you up. I will draw and you will see. Don't worry, very soon, I will begin to sow...well as soon as I find a master who is worthy of my talents.

Can you imagine? I have worked with five different teachers yet I don't even know how to hem..hiss. It is not my fault at all. I paid them to teach me yet all I got in return were errands...not useful errands like...cut the material or sow the tear in that dress..no o...useless errands like..wash the baby's nappy..go to my house and sweep. Please how are those errands going to help me become a tailor? If you know your child is a waste factory, find him a potty or give him garri so that he will stop shitting in his nappies.

I should have known better than to go to local tailors for apprenticeship...all they do is send their apprentices on errands meant for maids. Anyway, I quit after two years of washing nappies, sweeping, and cursing. I went back home, and I decided to write Jamb...at least if I go to the university..I can learn tailoring in a better environment, I will even apply for apprenticeship in all those Lagos fashion designing institutions...I will try one girl..Lisa Folawiyo abi? Yes! I read about her on the internet.

I hope I pass Jamb sha..Gawd forbid I wash nappy again!!!

I am a tailor not a maid!!!

RELUCTANT No.2

Hi people,

Can I just say this is awkward. I feel so weird. I am the only one who is a tailor amongst my three friends...they seem indifferent but I know better.
I just hope none of them reports me to their witchcraft mothers, I have enough challenges, I don't need anyone doing 'ayamatanga' to me. I am not a prayer warrior and my parents are muslims that don't pray 5 times a day.

Well, God help me. So, how did I become a tailor?

Well, I endured all the pain with my master for two years. I learnt all I could while she was not watching, and then I stole all her customers!!!
Don't look at me like that, I didn't have time to meet people and advertise myself so I used what I had to get what I needed...simple.

I hear she has not stopped cursing me since I got my freedom but I am not moved. I am a tailor and I have my certificate and experience to bear me witness.

I am not going to school so this is my only means of survival. Whoever stands in my way will perish in the lake of hell. I sha Allah!! I am a tailor and I will be the best.

I know these two idiots will still come and work for me...don't tell them I said so..

Education...my foot!!!


RELUCTANT No.3

Hello,

Why am I explaining to you the reason why I am not a tailor? Do you feed me?..ok, since you have a lot of time on your hands to be listening to stories...let me indulge you...

I am not interested in tailoring, I want to be a footballer. However, my grandfather does not believe in football. That is the reason I decided to go for tailoring. I thought I could play football in my spare time. I thought tailoring was easy. Is it not cutting, sowing..yes plus measurement...so, I started working...whenever my oga was not around, I would go and play football...one hour before he comes back, I will go to the shop and start sowing.

He would always ask why the job wasn't finished and I would lie. Nepa was not stable in that area so it was very easy to lie against Nepa...

I thought I was smart, and I knew how to play my cards until the day I forgot to finish a customer's dress and she turned out to be my teammate's mother...well the rest is history..I got thrown out.

I am happy it happened. It was either he threw me out or I started sowing mismatched clothes for his customers.
I am going to MTN's football academy...

Tailoring should go and sit down...

Mylipsrsealed..

P.S. For the 3 little girls I heard gossiping!!!

THEY SAID...

Morning everyone,

I am so glad to end this 3 part story...I had so much fun writing them. I hope you enjoy reading them too. I pray we learn to help one another, and fight rape...it is very important to help young girls realise the danger of rape, and how to avoid it...I am saying NO to rape...please join me in the fight against it...


THE MAN LIVING UPSTAIRS SAID...

I am not sure what happened. I am never at home so I don't know what goes on. However, I have been seeing both of them together for a while. I know they are always laughing. I thought they were happy. Wait...are you saying she is not his girlfriend? Ehn ehn...I did not know.

Anyway, I heard she said he raped her. I think it is disappointing that a young man of that status can degrade himself to such a standard. Why? When he can get any other girl. Women are too many for anyone to start thinking of rape. If you toast one, and she says no...move to another, eventually one of them would see you as their kind of man.

Take me for example, I met my wife after chasing all the girls in my university. I chased everything in skirt because I needed a girlfriend desperately but nobody saw me as their 'mr right.' It was when I gave up, and I went to the village to see my mother that I met my wife....well, to be sincere, I knew my mother had picked a girl for me but I didn't want to marry a bush girl. I wanted a fresh graduate. However, since nobody wanted me,I had to marry her...look at me now, I am happy. I am not sure my mate at the university would have made me happy. My wife has given me three boys and still counting. I am a proud father.

My point is...no need to rape a girl when you can meet another that will give you for free...


THE WOMAN STAYING IN THE QUARTERS SAID...

That boy is wicked...useless boy!!! Oloshi..raping a geh just like that. I don't really blame him sha. If you saw the way the girl was always parading his house...you will know something was bound to happen. I am just sorry for her. Who will marry her now? Everybody knows she is no longer pure...wait was she ever pure? Children of nowadays that think sex is a free gift...no shame at all (hiss)

Look at me, my husband...may his soul rest in peace...married me a virgin,...how many gehs can boast of that? Me...I was the most beautiful then...I was finer than that geh that is using her big mouth to spoil her name...as fine as I was, did I get raped? No!!! I knew better than to be parading myself like baby kingsway around a man...

Anyway, I am glad she is leaving. I can't help but feel sorry for her. She makes me uncomfortable. Every time, I see her, I feel like giving her ten naira or something, and patting her head. She should go abeg.

The foolish boy has nothing to lose. All he has to do is pretend he has changed, shed a few crocodile tears, and all the gehs will pity him. Soon, he will have another geh to sleep with. He will damage another one, and that one too will allow herself be damaged willingly...please he needs to go too. My daughter is five years old, and I will like her to remain a virgin till she meets a rich, fine, Yoruba man from Ekiti that will build me a beautiful house ,and marry her...


Please both of them should leave this house...I have said my own...

Mylipsrsealed...

P.S. Please fight rape anywhere you are...

Oloshi- useless
Geh- girl
Baby kingsway- a barbie doll

SHE SAID...

Hi everyone,

I am telling the same story from another angle...so exciting right? It is a sad story, and I can't do enough justice to it. Every time, I write I make use of my imagination, and my ever expanding knowledge of incidents. I create these characters but I am not sure I really tell their stories well enough...I wish I could breathe life into them so they can speak...I am such a dreamer right?

Well, since I don't have superpowers, please try,and enjoy the work of an ordinary being telling extra-ordinary stories!!!

Enjoy!!!


SHE SAID...

Why did he do it?...was I too friendly? Did I give him signals that made him do it? I specifically turned down his proposals twice...why?...why me?...maybe I was too nice...my dresses are not short or showy..I dress like a lady...so why?

I wasn't nasty to him when we were friends not even when I noticed he had mouth odour. I overlooked it, and I kept my friendship with him. I don't understand where I erred. I was a good neighbour, and friend. I trusted him with secrets I couldn't tell my friends. I guess it is true what they say...' Never trust a man who is too affectionate.'

We did not start as friends...just neighbours who were civil to each other. Every morning, I stepped out of my flat, he was the first person I saw. He always had a smile for me. You know that genuine smile that helps to make a day better...well that was the kind of smile he had every morning. I should have known better...

We became closer after I broke up with my boyfriend. I was so heart broken, and I had no-one to talk with...so, I found solace in his arms. He never blamed me for the break-up. He always blamed my ex, which made me admire him even more. We started to gist daily. I didn't want to overwhelm him with my presence, so, I decided to always go to his flat rather than he come to my flat...foolish me right?

I admired his spirit, and I loved listening to him. He always knew what to say....which is a rare gift. All the men I knew had a problem with timing but he never did. He said, and acted at the right time. I was so comfortable with him, I decided to make him my best friend.

I was not sure he liked girls until he asked me out. I had never seen a girl with him so I assumed he didn't like girls...well he certainly proved me wrong.

I tried to introduce him to a friend after he asked me out but he didn't bother to ask for her number. He was so cold to her, she was mad at me for wasting her time.

I did everything to make him happy. I tried getting him a girlfriend, and he showed no interest.
Where on earth did I go wrong?
Did I annoy him? Did I not make myself clear enough? What did I miss?

Why did he do it?...the coward ****** me...I can't even say the word. He took my dignity. At first I swore never to tell.
I have changed my mind...I am telling everyone who cares to listen...yes...I was a victim...

I believed he was harmless until he showed me that all men are the same...the difference is their colour, race, and background...
I went to him in my time of need, and he took advantage of my vulnerability....I had not been to church in a while but after he did it...I went to church, I cried so hard, the pastor in charge asked me to her office. Thank God it was not a man, I am not sure how I would have reacted. I just sat in the office crying.
It was almost as if she could read my mind, she said ' God will heal you, and take away the pain'

I went home, and I became numb. I thought rape only happened to young girls, who are in school, have useless men in their families, girls who were marked out by other boys, and attacked or girls who suffered in the hands of armed robbers. I never imagined I could go through it. I did not experience it when I was younger so, why now?

I decided to speak because I wanted to humiliate him...I wanted to shame him.

Now, I just want to move to another environment. I don't care if he is sorry. At least I have warned all the girls I know in our area. I am tired of people looking at me with pity. I need some space...I am leaving him, and others like him in the hands of karma...I know he will pay...

Mylipsrsealed...

P.S. Please fight rape in whatever form...

HE SAID....

Hi everyone,

This morning, I got the inspiration to write a 3 part story, all about the same incident. It is such a balanced way of telling a story. I am starting with the man's view on the incident...don't worry, I plan to be fair..at least I will try to be. I believe everyone has a right to tell their side of a story. I really want to know what you think. I don't want to reveal the theme of the story now...why? Well it will ruin the fun for me, and you!!! Please leave a comment after reading.

By the way, I am not done with my gifts to the EXES but I am taking a break before one of them kills me...I will continue when I am at least three thousand kilometres away from the next ex...I am too young to die o...

Enjoy...

HE SAID...

I thought she wanted it...yes!!! she wanted it...women always say No when they mean Yes...

How do you explain her constant visits to my flat? She was always asking for small favours...'Please do you have change? I need to pay the vendor'...'Please can you give me your phone? I don't have credit.'...'Please can you help me pick my clothes on your way from work?'...

I am her neighbour..yes. But I am not her daddy, neither am I father christmas. At first I was only helping because I thought she didn't like the other neighbours but I found out that she was on friendly terms with them then I started to wonder why it was always me, she asked to do things for her. When she broke up with her boyfriend, I was the shoulder she leaned on...I was the one who stood by her,and I helped her heal....please don't I deserve a reward for all my knight in shining armour actions?...we became closer but I didn't ask her out because I wanted to give her time to get over the other fellow...

After two months, I took the bold step,and I asked her out...I acted like a real man, and I asked her to be my woman...I made myself look like a fool because of 'love.' She said no...she laughed at me,and said no. In her quiet, calm way she turned me down. I asked for a reason, and all she said was...'I am just looking for friendship from you, I really like you but not like that.' Please, how else do you like a guy who is loving, kind, and supportive? I know I am not ugly, at least my mirror tells me that every morning...I have also dated very beautiful girls even when I was very broke.

So, why did she say no to me? Am I not good enough? Am I too short? Or too tall? What is wrong with me?
These questions kept running through my mind when she turned me down. Amidst all of these, it suddenly dawned on me that women can never be satisfied!!! So, I decided to keep away from her..I swore never to talk with her again, I was so mad at myself, and her.

My decision flew out of the window the next day. She came to my flat with tears in her eyes, and she hugged me. I knew I was back to being just a 'friendly shoulder.'

I tried my luck with her again, and she still said no...so, I decided to get used to the role she had given me until the day she pushed me to my limits...

She came back home that evening, and knocked on my door. I refused to answer. Just for a day, I needed a break from her,I was tired of hard-ons, and desires, she kept arousing in me without fulfilling them!!! She kept knocking, and I turned deaf ears. I heard her move away from the door after a while, and so I decided to peep, and check. I opened the door, and she jumped at me. 'I knew you were inside! Why are you ignoring me, please let me in, I need you.'

Now, please can any man who is a man honestly tell me that he wouldn't have done what I did. She said she needed me, and so I let her in, now she is telling everyone I raped her!!!

Is it rape when a woman consciously brings herself to your doorstep?
Is it rape when she keeps looking so good whenever she comes to see you?

She gave me the green light and I took it. I did what I did to her because she wanted it. I don't know why she was crying afterwards. The annoying part is she stopped struggling after a while, she just laid there like a dead log of wood...I was too gone to care but now that I remember, I actually feel insulted.

After that night, she stopped talking to me. I didn't care, at least I had gotten a reward for all my stress. Then I noticed one of our other neighbours looking at me, and shaking her head. I knew she had said something to that woman. Now, she has told every one who cared to listen that I raped her...she said I forced myself on her...

I don't feel guilty so I don't care. However, if I don't tell my side of the story, everyone will judge based on her story.

I ask you..yes you...if she didn't want it, why did she make herself available?!!!

Mylipsrsealed...

Please say NO to rape in whatever form...